Wednesday, September 25, 2013

losing my center

Do you ever get the feeling that you're on a gigantic rollercoaster ride in your filled with activity and to-do lists a mile long and NOISE???  Everything is going so fast, and has to be done "yesterday" - that you get to a point where you feel like you can't breathe??
That's how I've been feeling lately - but I was too busy and moving too fast to realize just what the problem was - until yesterday!  haha   I've been working from sun up to sun down -- never getting everything done what I wanted to get done that day -- haven't "had time" to exercise (that was my excuse anyway...I'll do it after this or after that...which never came) -- haven't been eating right (just grabbing whatever I can, when I'm absolutely STARVING, because I forgot to eat all day) -- not being able to sleep at night because I can't shut my brain off (it's still going at hyper-daytime speed!), so I'm perpetually tired...
until I couldn't take it anymore!  I literally yelled -- "Let me off this ride!!!"
I just stopped everything I was doing... turned everything my running shoes on and said to Dan - "I'm going for a walk!  Wanna come??"  And OH did it feel good!  I could BREATHE - I could smell the crisp air, watch the geese making their way South for the winter, see the leaves starting to turn on the trees (Holy cow - when did that start happening - I think I missed the whole summer!).... and have a nice discussion with my husband about how "OFF" I felt!  (He's a good sounding board!)
I'm a big meditation, self-seeker, "live in the moment" type girl -- and I had LOST it!  Lost my center - my balance - my peace.  I couldn't shut my mind off during meditations. When the 15 - 20 minutes were over, I felt like I hadn't done it at all!  All the things I had to do - or ideas for new products - or design & website ideas - or worrying about my sick mom or a million other things... would be popping into my head... I couldn't clear my mind and concentrate on my breathing for even 15 minutes!
Building a new business, selling an old one, passionate about painting again (in a whole new direction) - Mom in the hospital - Niece broke her arm (Poor Raven) - worrying about the futures of my kids - numerous people in my life getting sick and having life-threatening issues - house is a mess - orders to fill............ it was like a perfect storm.... everything happening at once!  But I think I realized it in time!   I can definitely see now, how people can have nervous breakdowns, without even realizing it, until it's on top of them!
That's what my new business, A Joyful Soul, is all about!  Live Happy, Be Joyful, Live in the Moment, Be Grateful... it's time to get back to practicing what I preach!  And that AWESOME walk was the start of it!  An hour and a half to ourselves - observing nature - talking - breathing deep... and drawing hearts on the sidewalk with a rock (like I used to do when we were kids)!
I'm gonna get back into my routines -- I need them!  Exercise, Eat Healthy, Drink my Water, Get some Sun (good old Vitamin D), Meditate, and take some time to relax and sit in the quiet and Be Grateful!  My Art & My Work is a fun, happy, passionate thing for me -- and I need to keep it that way!!  Quit stressing... Think Positive... Enjoy the Journey!  All the clich√©'s -- THEY'RE TRUE!!
  If you feel things closing in on you - that you're life is too busy - and you're not taking the time for yourself....please...STOP!  It's ok -- things won't fall apart if they don't get done right this second!  Find JOY in the things you do... if there is no JOY, then don't do it!  (Yeah I know - not much JOY in doing housework or whatever chore you have to do...but the JOY comes from being able to sit and relax in a clean house, from the end result!  :)  Simplify your days so you can take that much needed time for yourself - get your exercise in - make healthy meals for your family - get some sleep!  I promise you'll feel so much better!  I absolutely do!